Onesie’s Log

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About Us

Some might be wondering who we are and why we’re pretentious enough to have a blog. And while Paul looks up “pretentious” in a dictionary I’ll tell you a little bit about myself:

Jonathan Picture 035 (Medium).jpg

I’m a late 20’s male who works a lot and is really good at his job. I’m young enough that I still work really hard at my job to impress my bosses and the Powers-That-Be but not old enough to realize that working so hard and being stressed out all the time is causing me to miss out on what are supposed to be the best years of my life.

I’m also a drunk. Okay okay, maybe I’m not the clinical definition of a drunk but I like to drink. I like to drink a lot. My philosophy of drinking is the only reason to drink is to get blacked out. Let’s face it, beer tastes like shit and alcohol (the kind that tastes good) is too expensive.

I have no hobbies. I came to this realization a couple weeks back. I’m a boring person. More than that, I have no depth. My life does not have enough content to adequately fill out a myspace or facebook profile and I certainly don’t have enough of (or the kind of) hobbies that you would list on a match.com account. I work in the technology and computer industry and thus those things interest me. I like hanging out with friends and going to bars. I lack the attention, drive and ambition to be a decent cook and thus I eat out at restaurants a lot. I also play video games and watch a lot of movies and television.

I’m a cynic. There are a lot of things I hate and most things will piss me off. If anything can go wrong it will and it will probably annoy the crap out of me. Life is a bitch and then takes half your shit. It only gets shittier the older you get.

I’m single. If the previous comments didn’t leave a sour taste in your mouth then you missed the point. I’m a late 20’s male that works a lot, has no hobbies and gets piss-drunk on the weekends. Not exactly the recipe to meet the love of your life. You know that point when you’re at the bar and you think to yourself “I’m pretty drunk and have two options – should I order another drink or should I try and meet a nice young lady”? Well, I’m the guy that always orders another drink …. and then I insult the nice young lady. I refuse to pick up girls at a bar and lets face it … I’m not the sort of guy that is going to join a book club to meet females. Fuck it!

Recent traveling with my company has led me to one conclusion. Seattle sucks. Every day its, “I can’t eat that its not organic”, “we have to reduce our carbon footprint” and/or “I have to buy another Suburu” and it pisses me off. Its rainy, the women are uppity and unresponsive to the common man, the meteorologists are all college dropouts and always wrong, our public transportation was designed by a third grader, I’m not skinny enough to wear 7 jeans and I’m not trendy enough to get my eyewear at Market Optical. But I also don’t have enough money or a strong enough resume to move. Life’s a B!

Anyway, enjoy the read as we’ll be adding more in the coming days.

PaulPaul

I’m in late 20’s. I have recently found out that I have bad hair and that I will go bald eventually…Thanks Jon!

I get along with most people, I can be kinda cocky, and most of my friends that have girlfriends aren’t aloud to hang out with me.

I am single, and I like to think not because I can’t find a girlfriend, but I have a really bad habit of not calling them back. I just don’t really like the fact of having someone tell me what I can or can’t do, and then have to worry about if I’m still gonna get laid later. I mean seriously who wants another mother on top of the one you already got? I guess you could say maybe I’m bitter towards most women from a few previous relationships.

Really though, I think I’ll leave the dating game to the rest of the world. I’m having too much fun, and got enough problems already.

I’m a Ex-Navy boy, so the traveling/stripper/drinking game is not anything new to me. My plan for these travels is 100% server uptime, that is the number one priority. When and if I get any free time I’ll probably get blacked out and maybe wake up somewhere unfamiliar, and if i have it my way their will be some strange girl next to me.

If end up as a “Missing Person” on a milk carton because I am a “Stupid American”, please tell my dog I love him.

About Us Some might be wondering who we are and why we're pretentious enough to
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