Onesie’s Log

Today was weird. We woke up early and had an amazing English breakfast buffet. It was really quite incredible with the sausages and the fried eggs, the baked beans and the toast. The day was off to a good start and we felt good. We were also really close to the data center where we are working so we were excited by that as well.

But as always shit fell through. Our access authorizations and stuff to get onto the necessarily floor were not put through correctly and they were NOT going to let us in. So needless to say, we had to stay in the area in case there was a breakthrough and we gained access. Morale went from high to low.

We go back a couple of light rail stops and catch our breath at a Chili’s at some mall attached to the rail station. We order food. The waitress is cute. There is some small flirting. Lots of extended eye contact and smiling. We pay our bill and …. “So you going to find any time to go drinking while you’re in London?” she says. Jackpot. If its any subject in the world that I can sustainably talk about and be witty with it is the subject of intoxication. The conversation progresses. Some key points:

I say, “We definitely plan to but we just flew in from Milan last night and haven’t had a chance to go looking for trouble yet”.

“Where you staying?” she asks.

“The Hilton London Tower Bridge”.

“Oooh, my brother lives by there. I’m going to go see him tonight.”

“Well you should stop by our hotel and I’ll buy you a beer. Then maybe later you can show us some good spots to get crazy and have a little fun.”

“Tonight may not be good. How long are you guys in town for?”

“Sunday” I say.

“You should give me a call Friday night or Saturday night and we’ll get a group of people to go out and have fun”.

YATZEE! She hands me a little folded up piece of paper, subtly to not draw too much attention, with her number on it. The day was looking up. 5 minutes later we get word that the SNAFU with the data center is cleared up and we can get in the building. Its 3pm. Morale stays the same as we were resigned to head back to the hotel and not get any work done but now we could get a little bit of work done.

We are now in the hotel room finishing up some paperwork and then we’ll be heading to the lobby bar. The hotel is kinda swanky and modern and there’s a lot of business types in the bar. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ENGLISH CHICKS IN BUSINESS DRESS. I haven’t wanted to jerk it this hard since the last time I witnessed Sundress Day back in college. So glad I’m sharing a room with Chris (and it was my idea).

Some things of note about this Chili’s waitress. When she handed me the piece of paper with her number it was already filled out and folded. I see two possibilities for this. The first is that our lunch time flirting had led her to want me to ask her out and she was just preparing. My second thought is that she probably has a pocketfull of those little notes and hands them out quite frequently. Additionally, her name is Anastasia. I’ve never met a real person with that name other than maybe a stripper. She may also be a hooker in which case Balk and I better prepare to get our asses kicked and rolled when I can’t pay. I’m hoping she’s just rad, thought I was a little cute and wants to party. I mean this type of shit always seem to happen to Paul – usually in a bar and usually on a webcam. Perhaps this is my turn?

I’ll update as this story progresses. Chances are I’ll call her tomorrow and see what’s up – “Yo, this is Jonathan. I’m that American dude who ordered the chicken strips yesterday ….”. Or maybe karma will just sucker punch me in the taint for my years of being a dick and unkind.

Peace be with you.